As a child, primary school
was unkind to me. Growing up in a small country town where coming from a mixed
race family was alien, the racial taunts were
abundant and my thick black hair and dark complexion were a dead giveaway that
I was different. Let
alone my proud Filipino mother. Emotionally too weak to deal with the racial
slurs, my body responded and became my savior. I learned to use my physicality
as means of defence. I was the kid so puffed up on bravado and aggression yet
so full of pain. I
carried this peacock posture all the way through high school, making
sure I was the biggest, strongest and angriest as a device to ward of the would
be tormentors.
psa: if you ever send me a meme & i don’t answer it, it’s never because i’ve seen it & gone “oh, it’s them”. if i can’t think of a response to a meme right away, i usually keep it in my inbox, or save it to my drafts, & then wait until i get an idea to answer it. or sometimes if i just can’t think of anything at all, or a few people sent in the same one ( sentence memes ) and i can’t think of enough ways to make each unique, then i’ll just end up deleting it. but that never means i don’t want to roleplay with you, or that you can never send another meme in, or ask to thread. just so you buttercups know !!
“ it feels like it. ” the anger boiling in her veins has now come to a simmer, a warm, slow simmer. back leans against the chair he’s sat her down in and expression is utterly crestfallen.
“ i don’t —- ” hands are bundled in her lap, being continuously wrung against each other, as if the excess movement would rid her of this overwhelming emotion. eyes settle on them because thalia is entirely unable to meet his. “ i don’t know how this happened. ” it comes out as a whisper, nearly inaudible, and swimming in a mixture of embarrassment and shame. “ i don’t —- i don’t get angry, ” thalia repeats incredulously. ( of course, anyone who knew her for more than five minutes could guess bouts of anger were rare for her. ) eyes are finally raised meet his, desperately searching them for an answer — if he was able to supply one — before head is bowed again. “ i’m —– i’m sorry you had to see that. ”